climbing up step by step all over again.

im not sure how everyone else thinks about my performance during training today, but from my point of view, i think that i did perform a little bit better today. (:
i kept reminding myself to concentrate & squat & hit!
i hope my other trainings would remain this good & excel even more too!
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i did setting with Faith (:
she was really NICEE :D
im really sorry too ): i made you like go down so many times! & i also made you pick the ball loads of time! >.<
dafang was quite okay[from my point of view]
then we had that criss-cross game thingy.
errrm, then got the jie then spike. [ for that i admit i was horrible]
then errr, i think its spiking.
it was kinda funny, germaine wanted the olympic ball badly :x haha!
then we had match.
the first match, i was not in the mood lah, my mindset was like 'playplay' so yahh, we lost terribly.
the second match, was alittle better even though we lost too.
then the third match, all the seniors one team & we one team.
we lost too.
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then some seniors came over & we had another like friendly match thingamabob.
pick balls, went home.
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i've been thinking. Im really sorry, I know i dissapointed many people. Now im just wishing for another chance to prove that i can do it! That was totally not me, my mindset & mood was just haywire. I know it might be an excuse, like , its training camp! no matter what you mindset/mood is you must perform well! I know, but its too late now. I dont even know if i have another chance. Now i can just hope. Move up step by step. Regain your trust in me step by step. Making everyone's dissapointment in me go away. Hoping it becomes proudness. I really am trying to improve now. I ask mummy, what can i do now? she said, 'nothing. you can only wait & see if there is another chance for you to show them lah. There might only be this once, & people already judged you.' its like on the very first go, i really have to make things clear next time. This is really a lesson to learn. If i really dont get to stay [which i hope not] , its really a BIG mistake I've made. I could have just shouted my lungs out & cheered whole-heartedly, but what did i do? I just screwed it up. Well, its all up to the t'chers,exco &God now. I really dont know whats next.
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its like a flight of stairs.
I started off from the bottom[GROUND FLOOR].
then i climbed up step by step.
& i was nearing the top,but then, that little, or rather BIG mistake made me tumble all the way to the bottom again.
now it all depends, did i break all my bones? or can i still climb up again.
if i have the chance to climb up again, i would be elated .
but if i dont, well, its a lesson to learn.
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BYE! im gonna do HOMEWORK! & im determined to do so.

amandaa.